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Chapter 26 – “Yeah. First we start as friends.”
Remilia-san thrust her sword at me. It was a black, lustrous, sharp-looking sword. Probably a famous sword.
Mn!? Looking carefully, that famous sword had blood on it.
Yay♪ That’s definitely the blood from slaughtering demons. Maybe my blood will add to it now…
My own imagination caused me to pale.
Oh crap, oh crap. I can totally feel her silent anger.
I-, I’m scared. What do I do? How do I get out of this situation?
Speaking of which, last time I sexually harassed her, Remilia-san almost cut me. Didn’t she say “The next time will cost you your life!” or something?
Awawawa, but this makes the second time. This is bad, so bad!
A-, Alright, for now shall I try making eyes like a small animal to try and appeal to her sympathy?
I tried making teary and fearful eyes. Then I started making animal cries too.
I don’t even know myself what sort of animal this is supposed to be, but the point is I tried my best to invite sympathy. But Remilia-san didn’t remove her hand from her sword.
I-, It’s not good. Remilia-san seems to be really mad.
“U-, Umm, you know…”
“What? Leaving your last words or something!”
Dahh~ She’s completely unapproachable. Ummmm, ummmm… I wracked my brains to their limit.
This won’t do… That won’t do either…
I-, I know!
Thinking about it carefully, I actually did have a reason to strip her! It’s just that I panicked and forgot.
That’s right. I was checking to see if she had any wounds left. Well, it’d be a lie if I said I didn’t have ulterior motives though. Still, I really was worried for her, yep, yep.
“U-, Umm, about the reason I stripped you, you see, the truth is that I was checking to see if you had any wounds left after we healed you.”
Oh! The anger in her eyes faded. And she even moved her hand away.
“You were heavily injured. You were treated with Heal, but I was worried about whether we missed anything, so I just…”
“I certainly am healed. Even though I was that heavily injured… Tilea, was it you who did this?”
“No, the one who used healing magic was my little sister.”
“I see. All the wounds are completely healed too. Quite a talented sister you have.”
“Yes. She is my pride.”
“Umu. With this talent, I’d even want to scout her for the Public Safety Force.”
“Is it that amazing!?”
“Indeed. A complete heal. Impossible for your normal healer. If she continues to study, even becoming a high priest wouldn’t be a dream, you know.”
I knew Timu was amazing! Even Remilia-san who’s considered the top by the Royal Family endorsed her.
“I think my sister would be very happy to hear you say that, Remilia-san.”
“Where’s that sister now? And this place is…”
“We’re moving separately. I was actually on the way to bringing you to Headquarters.”
“I see. And then on the way, you were wondering about whether your sister’s healing was perfect or not, and checked me for wounds.”
“Y-, Yes… T-, That-, That’s exactly it! Exactly, exactly it!”
“Huu~ Honestly, say that earlier then! I very nearly killed my saviour’s relative, you know.”
SHOWEHHHHHH! That was close. I almost died from stupidity again. Anyway, it looks like I’ve avoided my death flag for now. All that’s left is to subtly find out if Or’s tripped a death flag.
“By the way, Remilia-san. What happened to injure you so heavily?”
“I was done in by demons. It’s pathetic, but they were incredible strong, and I had no way to deal with them.”
Aahh, Remilia-san is depressed now. She must be quite shocked about her defeat. But with that many demons, I don’t think it could be helped that she was defeated.
The people in this city were turned into vampires. There might have been hundreds, even. And all of them were defeated by the Public Safety Force, you know. That definitely wore them down. And their leader, Remilia-san. was doubtless in the heat of things.
The number of vampires really has decreased, so I think my guess is correct. Me and the Praetorian Guard defeated a few too, but just those few definitely weren’t enough to help Remilia-san. She’s definitely on the brink of exhaustion now.
“Remilia-san, please don’t be so down. It couldn’t be helped. You fought with so many demons after all.”
“Tilea. The Public Safety Force cannot be defeated. After all, our defeat is the defeat of the nation. In particular, I as the head, cannot be forgiven, no matter what excuses I may have.”
“B-, But thanks to the effort of everyone at the Public Safety Force, the demons were forced to retreat. You protected the Capital, Remilia-san. I think you can be proud of that.”
“Tilea, I appreciate this. My fallen subordinates will surely be saved by those words.”
Remilia-san thanked me for it.
Oohh, what a wonderful expression.
She’s kind of…
Yeah, noble. Her expression was noble. I think I just fell in love with her again.
I stared at Remilia-san in a daze… Wai-, this isn’t the time to be spacing out. Or! I need to ask about Or!
“Um, about the demon that attacked you, Remilia-san…”
“A terrifying enemy. My subordinates were completely massacred. It was a one-sided battle.”
“It must have been quite an enemy if you were cornered to such an extent.”
“Indeed. He was a stronger foe than any I have met.”
S-, So scary. Demons really are so scary. Even Remilia-san, a Hero’s descendant and an S-ranked adventurer is saying this…
Once I considered what would’ve happened without my knowledge cheat, I shuddered.
“So you were defeated by that demon, and then you collapsed?”
“Indeed. It shames me to say that my secret technique was overturned, and I became captive… Mn? Speaking of which, when you healed me, Tilea, did you guys find any demons nearby?”
“No, not at all.”
“I see. Then why did they leave me? I cannot understand. They bound me, but then…”
“U-, Umm~ Remilia-san, could it be that you were conscious when you collapsed?”
“Because of my injuries, my consciousness was hazy, but yes, I do remember.”
GABOH-! Then she definitely remembers Or’s face. This is the worst possible development. Aahh, Or you idiot, what the hell have you done!
Also, Remilia-san seemed to be confused about why she was just left there after being captured, but I know the truth. After considering what she told me, this is what actually happened.
First, Remilia-san and her men were fighting with the strongest demon. But despite their efforts, everybody died by Remilia-san. Remilia-san also suffered heavy injuries, and collapsed. The strongest demon thought that Remilia-san was dead, and left her. But despite her injuries, she was still barely conscious.
Enter Or and friends.
『Hey, hey, we’re tha Evil God Army that makes even crying babies shut up! Yahooo! This stake is tha besttt!』
『It truly is, Captain Or. To think that we would be able to defeat demons with this… Could it be that we’re amazing? Totally amazing?』
『Dumbass! Of course we’re fucking amazing. There’s nothing we can’t do! We’re the Evil God Army! We’re allowed to do whatever we want!』
That’s probably how they were. They went so far past fear that they instead ended up on a weird high. After all, they even tried to attack Jessica-chan, and their survival instincts were at their peaks.
Then if in that situation, they spotted the famous Remilia-san…
『Oi oi oi, ain’t that the famous Remilia lying over there?』
『Yeah, that’s defs her. It’s that Remilia. A Heeerooo’s descendanttt. Whatta we do? Should we do it? Should we strip her?』
『Dumbass! First we gotta tie her up, of course!』
『As expected of Captain Or! Jumping straight into the bondage! I admire that part of you!』
Something like that? I can easily picture them doing that. I bet they were messing around and caught the famous Remilia-san. She never mentioned a third party coming. I’m sure because of her condition, she didn’t notice a third party come in, and simply assumed that it was the demons that tied her up.
Isn’t this pretty bad?
She probably remembers their faces. If she sees them again, she’ll definitely realise that they’re the criminals that tied her up. And extrapolating further, there’s a huge possibility that she’ll mistake them for the allies of the demons.
Awawawawa, then we definitely can’t let Remilia-san meet Or and the others.
“A-, At any rate, the most important thing is your safety. Why not leave the investigation for later?”
“H-, However, I truly cannot understand it. For them to simply leave me without killing me is…”
“They certainly believed you to be dead, and left as a result.”
“No, they tied me up. They knew full well that I was alive.
Haha, of course. Because the one who tied you up was a third party. It was Or and the others. But I can’t say that, definitely not.
“W-, Well, isn’t that fine! After all, you’re alive. I’m sure they had their own reasons.”
“True. I can gradually investigate this point.”
“Yes. I think that would be good.”
Phew, are we safe for now? My lifespan just shortened trying to clean up after them.
“That reminds me, I must thank you sisters later.”
“Thank? No, please… We only did what was natural.”
“No, you saved me. Please let me thank you.”
“Then in that case, please thank my sister Timu later. I’m sure she’ll be overjoyed.”
“Yeah, I’ll do that. When I meet her, I’ll ask what she wants as thanks.”
“Thank you very much.”
“Also, Tilea. I want to thank you as well.”
What a shocking proposal.
“Indeed. It’s a way of apologising for my earlier rudeness, even though you were worried about me. Not only that, but your information helped me very much.”
“I-, Is that so? But, even if you suddenly say that…”
“Don’t be shy. What do you want? Try saying it!”
W-, What should I do?
I guess, something like ‘Please marry me’? But that might be a bit sudden. There’s already the race difference to think of, to say nothing of the gender barrier. It would be better to be prudent here. Well then, something like ‘Please spend a night with me’?
This is bad too, huh. Remilia-san seems the chaste type, so if I solicited her for premarital sex, she’d definitely get mad.
Hmm~ It’s no good. My head is spinning. I don’t know what to say. The more I think about it, the more confused I’m getting.
Let’s just got with a straight ball!
“Remilia-san, is anything fine?”
“Yeah. Although I’ll ask you to keep it within the bounds of common sense.”
Alright. I took in a deep breath, and then exhaled to calm myself.
“I love you, Remilia-san. Please go out with me!”
I tried confessing.
Remilia-san’s eyes turned into dots. Maybe it was really unexpected. But perhaps she understood what I was saying, because her face turned bright red.
“W-, Wh-Wh-What are you saying! I-, Is that a proposal? Are you serious? A joke――”
“I am not joking. I’m serious!”
I gazed at her with an earnest expression. Perhaps because her calm was slowly returning, she warned me in a calm voice.
“Tilea, not only am I an elf, I am also a woman, you know.”
“Yes, of course I know. Is there some problem?”
“Y-, You know, I would think there are plenty of problems with that, but…”
“As long as there is love, one can overcome any and all barriers.”
“A-, Anyway, it’s impossible.”
My shoulders dropped in gloom.
I-, I was rejected. Even though I seriously confessed…
“Aahh, even though I was serious… Remilia-san, in the end you were the type of person who would discriminate just because of sex and race, weren’t you.”
“Tilea, leaving stuff like sex aside, I will not marry anybody weaker than myself. If you desire me, then you’ll need to defeat me in battle first.”
“T-, That can’t be…”
What a dated proposal technique…
And Remilia-san, please stop gripping your sword again!
“What’s wrong, Tilea? If you wish, I don’t mind duelling you.”
“Wha-… Wait. Remilia-san, that’s really too much against an unarmed novice.”
“Huhu, then give up!”
Remilia-san made a triumphant expression. As though just that much was enough to have me stand down.
Hmph! I’m a little annoyed now.
“I’m finding it difficult to accept that. If strength was all you required, then by that logic, even somebody with a terrible personality would be fine.”
“Those who stand at the pinnacle of the martial path do not have such personalities. A healthy body begets a healthy soul.”
“No, no, that’s certainly strange. In that case, if the demon who beat you earlier went and proposed to you, would you accept?”
“Mumu! Tilea, you have quite the silver tongue. I don’t really like people like that.”
“Uu, then instead of talking, I’ll show you that I’m serious. Only, it won’t be in a fight.”
“If not with martial strength, then with what?”
“Hah-!? Cooking!? With mere cooking, you――”
“There is nothing mere about it! I’m really trying my best with cooking. Even if it’s you, Remilia-san, I won’t forgive you if you disparage cooking!”
I drew near Remilia-san. Cooking is a precious treasure that I learnt from my parents. Insulting it is like insulting Mum or Dad. This is the only thing I won’t yield for. Even if you threaten me with a sword, I won’t. Cooking is my identity.
Remilia-san bowed deeply to me.
“I made fun of your earnestness. My apologies. I’m sincerely sorry.”
“Ah-, no-, umm…”
Remilia-san’s serious gaze shook me up.
“If somebody made fun of my martial arts, I would be hurt. Cooking is the same thing for you, isn’t it.”
“Yes. I learnt my cooking from my respected parents. So cooking is my pride.”
“I see… I don’t hate people with pride.”
H-, Huh? I got mad because she made fun of cooking, but thanks to that, for some reason she’s all respect-ey with me now.
“U-, Umm, what do you…?”
“Tilea, I can’t date you.”
“But, I could become friends with you.”
Eh!? Eh!? Eh!? Oh my goodness!
Remilia-san gave a shy smile. Can I think of this as a smile for me alone?
Huhu, IT’S HEEEEERE! IT’S TOTALLY HERE! THIS! I TOTALLY RAISED A FLAG!
Yep, yep, these sort of things always start off as friendships.
“Yes. I would also like to become your friend, Remilia-san.”
I took her hand, and firmly shook it. She grasped my hand back with a smile. It looks like she was happy about making a new friend. I was really happy as well.
Uhuhu, sometimes friendship turns into love, you know.
“Ah-, also. Tilea, you’ve plans to move to the Capital, don’t you.”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“Then may I continue to rely on your for information?”
“Yes, of course. I plan on opening a restaurant here in the Capital. If I hear anything, I will definitely let you know.”
“That really helps. In that case, if you hear the name Ortissio, please let me know.”
“Ortissio. That’s the name of the one that attacked me. I’m counting on you.”
Ababababa! So she knew that retard(Or)’s name after all.
What do I do?
Or rather, I wonder what she’d do if she found out that those guys are my companions.
Uhuhu, sometimes friendship turns into hatred too.
It should be noted that despite her stupid-sounding narration, when she speaks to Remilia or teachers, or other adults or people of higher standing, Tilea speaks quite properly and politely.
It’s almost like she has common sense.
“I admire that part of you!”
This chapter had better get an illustration, in the LN coming out this month.