Turf War – Chapter 14

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Chapter 14 – “Ortissio the Fiend!? We have to escape!”

“Orrr? Where are you?”

I wandered about underground for him.

I checked training rooms A to D but only found Pervert(Nielsen) and Muram. Drenched in sweat as always.

I mean, I can appreciate their efforts but they were still on their 5 kg weights, and were always wheezing after a few dozen push-ups. Still way below the fitness of an average man.

Well whatever. Try your best.

Anyway, the point is Or wasn’t there.

As for where else he might have been… Hm, the break room, or maybe the meeting room…?

I checked all the likely places but found nothing.

Phew, who on earth made this place so big, anyhow. It’s not like I had the time to search every single room.

In the end I decided to just ask somebody. I called out to a passerby.

“Ah~ You there, yes, you!”

“W-, Why if it isn’t Tilea-sama!” he answered nervously.

Gosh, this again!?

Why do all the grunt members get so nervous around me?

It’s tiring!

This is exactly why I didn’t want to ask somebody. Is this boot camp? Am I some colonel? Am I the General? Am I the bloody Demon King! Stop being so frantic around a little girl, already!

Unfortunately, my mental complaints went unheeded because the guy stood stock-still at attention. It felt like he would spend his whole life standing here without my dismissal.

God, this is why shut-in chuunibyou are…

“Um, hey, I’ve already told you guys before but can you not be so stiff around me?”

“Understood, Milady!”

How is that any less stiff.

Well whatever. I suppose I can understand. I mean, not only are they chuunibyou, they’re kind of losers too. A cute girl like me talks to them and they tense right up. I get it. Plus, Timu and I are kind of like the idols of this whole group, so maybe his heart is beating so hard he’s trying not to faint? That’s how it is with idol otaku, right?

I mean, apparently the tickets to my “The Evil God’s Splendrous Techniques” performances have a waiting list and a premium on them. And each time I perform, there are people outside the room watching in.

Actually, Dryas-kun tells me that the demand and supply is so bad that even fights have broken out…

Then again, it is Dryas-kun saying it.

Anyhow, I’m basically like some super idol to them. I’ll be frank. I know I’m hot. But having a bunch of grown men squabble over some random girl like me is kind of disturbing.

No matter how starved for entertainment they are in this world without internet there’s still a point at which I just want to ask them to grow up a bit.
Whatever. I can worry about their futures later. For now there’s something else I need to do.

“Umm, you’re… Gorhon, right?”

“No, Milady. I am Orhon, of the Evil God Army’s 1st Division.”

“Orhon… Right, right, you were Orhon, weren’t you. So Orhon, say…”

“Yes, Milady.”

“Do you have any idea where Or is?”

“Yes, Milady. I believe he is presently inspecting a treasury.”

“Treasury? That’s weeeird… I swear I just checked…”

“Commander Ortissio should be in the Treasury C, Milady.”

“Oh, oka――wha-, C!? There’s a Treasury C?”

“Yes, Milady.”

T-, Then doesn’t that mean there’s an A and a B, or maybe even a Z?

“U-Uh, say, are there other treasuries aside from the one on the right at the end of this hallway?”

“Yes, Milady. From my knowledge there should be roughly ten of them or so…”

Just how freaking rich is this family? That one treasury I do know is already packed to the brim.

Or, aren’t you like the ultimate rich boy!?

No wonder. No wonder he can piss away all that money. Geez, just how deep is his family’s wallet. I can’t imagine that they gathered all this money without dirtying their hands.

I know it sounds prejudiced but that’s how rich people are, right? I can’t let Mum meet him at this rate. It’s bad enough that he’s some spoilt rich boy, but the chuunibyou on top of that? It’s a recipe for disaster.

I’d better have a few words with him first.

“Are you busy right now, Orhon?”

“No, Milady. My commanding officer may be waiting for me but your orders are always the priority.”

“Okay. Then could you pop down to that treasury and call Or for me?”

“As you desire,” he said, before sprinting off. Mmn. I’m happy that he’s taking this so seriously, but isn’t he being a bit too serious? What if he trips. But wow, was he that happy to be speaking to me?

Gosh, these damned chuunibyou! With so many of them gathered here, I’ll never be able to relax.

This is exactly why I need to have a word with Or first. What should I do. Should I just stand next to him the whole time and translate…?

“Tilea-sama, I, Ortissio, have humbly arrived.”

Ortissio arrived while I was thinking.

“That was fast. Were you nearby, Or?”

“No, I was at the northernmost treasury. I offer my sincere apologies for the late arrival.”

“Haha…”

What ‘northernmost’! This underground empire is bigger than the damned town, you know. How could anybody come this quickly from the northernmost tip! Damned Or, trying to act cool even though you were probably just around the corner! This is why I hate dealing with chuunibyou.

“I was thinking that it’s about time for me to start learning teleportation magic as well. There’s a bit of a time loss when merely running with body reinforcement magic.”

“Or, enough about that already.”

“Understood.”

“Or, the truth is that my mum wants to meet you.”

“By your mother, you mean…?”

“She normally lives in Beruga Town but today she’s here in the Capital.”

“Beruga…?”

“Yeah, Beruga where Timu and I came from, and the person who came today is our mother. She is absolutely not Mamira. Got it?” I explained to Or before he jumped to weird conclusions.

Oi, pay attention now. You play make-believe so much that I’m worried you think we actually came from the Demonic Capital Benz or something.

“I understand. So it’s the woman that’s your temporary moth――HEBURAH!”

I smacked him with a backfist.

Hahh, I knew it…

Looks like a repeat of the time with Pervert(Nielsen).
[tln: see chapter 28~30]

It’s not like I was expecting otherwise but god this is such a headache. Maybe I should get Pervert(Nielsen) to help me. After that one time, Pervert(Nielsen) hasn’t ever been disrespectful to Mum. Maybe he’d be the right man to educate Or.

I turned to Orhon who was standing at attention.

“Aah~ Orhon, could I maybe ask you for one more favour?”

“Yes, Milady. Whatever you please.”

“Then could I trouble you to go grab Niel from the training room?”

“I understand. Then I shall go call the General Commander at once,” he said before dashing off again.

I’m counting on you, Orhon, I thought as I nodded in approval.

Pervert(Nielsen) arrived a few minutes later. Also I guess Or had finally recovered because he was standing shakily with his hand to his forehead.

“I have humbly arrived, Tilea-sama,” said Pervert(Nielsen).

“Thanks for coming, Niel. The truth is my Mum is upstairs in the shop right now.”

“Sera-sama…? Then I must make haste and greet her.”

“You’ve really matured, Niel. I’m very pleased with your attitude.”

“You humble me. Sera-sama is the shrine that summoned both Camilla-sama and your august self to this world. How could I not pay her my respects?”

Yepyep, that’s how you’re supposed to act. He was talking like a chuunibyou again, but I’m happy about the attitude behind it.

“Or, do you see how Niel is behaving? This is what you’re lacking right now. Learn from him!”

“Understood. However I cannot understand why General Commander Nielsen is behaving this way. Our guest this time is a mere human――hii!”

I placed my hand above Or’s neck. Then I mimed a chopping motion. Looks like he understood.

“Or, that’s a yelloh cardo. The next time you slip up you’re losing your head.

“M-My deepest apologies. Please, Tilea-sama, please give me another chance,” he begged with tears in his eyes.

Geez, you’re a grown man so don’t you have any shame?

“Hahh, if you’re going to cry about it then how about thinking before you act and not messing up to begin with?”

“M-My deepest apologies. W-, What did I do wrong? …General Commander, where did I err?”

“Ortissio! You lack awareness as a retainer!” he roared.

Mmn, mmn. Make sure to teach him a lesson.

“That’s right, Or. You know, in the past Niel did the same thing.”

“Indeed. It is a shame that will follow me to the grave.”

“Yeah, if I had snapped back then I might really have killed you.”

“The General Commander, executed by Tilea-sama…?” asked Ortissio.

“Yeah, almost. But in the end Niel saw the error of his ways. That’s why I forgave him.”

“I am eternally grateful for your kindness, Tilea-sama,” said Pervert(Nielsen) with a bow.

Pervert(Nielsen) might be a chuunibyou, but being polite is one of his good points.

“Or, I’m not even surprised since it’s a rich boy like you, but you really don’t have any sense. Or, you need to learn from Niel.”

“Understood! I shall meditate deeply on your words. Then, General Commander, might I trouble you to teach this humble fool?”

“Ordinarily a thought-traitor like you would meet with summary execution. However, the one who requested me to reform you was none other than Tilea-sama. I shall forge you into the perfect image of a loyal retainer.”

“As you will.”

With that, Pervert(Nielsen) started to teach him some common sense. I told Or to come up to the shop once he was done with his lesson and headed upstairs myself. I didn’t really want to keep Mum waiting. When I got there I found Mum in the shop looking amazed at the furniture.

“Mum, Or’s going to be here soon.”

“R-Right. Tilea, do you actually know how expensive all these furnishings are…?”

“Ahah! Surprised? I was too, Mum. They look pretty plain at first but to a trained eye they’re all super high class.”

“Tilea! Why are you such a carefree girl! These furnishings alone would be able to pay for four or five normal shops, you know. It’s abnormal that anybody would go this far for you.”

“Geez, it’s not what you’re thinking. Or is just the son of some powerful noble.”

“Goodness, you’re so… Do you think that powerful noble would let his son waste his money out of goodwill?”

“B-But, that’s… Or and I are really tight, and um, my cooking is…”

Mum gave a helpless look at my floundering.

Um, Mum, can you please stop looking like you want to say ‘what am I going to do with this idiot daughter of mine’?

“Huu… I’ve made up my mind, Tilea. I really must talk to this Ortissio-san.”

“It’s, you’re exaggerating, Mum. You’ll get it once you meet him. He’s really not such a big deal.”

“Enough, Tilea. More importantly I’ve seen your account book but you still haven’t shown me the promissory note.”

“Promissory note? We don’t have anything like that.”

“Haaah!? You’re hundreds of millions in debt. How can you not have signed anything! I-, I can’t believe this. What is Ortissio-san thinking?”

“Mmn, but well, a verbal contract is still a contract, right?”

“It is, but…”

Mum looked really troubled. I-, Is it really that big a deal? We’ve got the account book so it’s not like I’ll forget how much I owe.

“It’s fine, Mum. We’ve got the account book so who even needs a promissory note.”

“Hahh~ Tilea, if you don’t have the documents then you can just shirk the debt. The opposite is true as well. How are you going to protect yourself if they claim you promised something you didn’t!”

“You’re such a worrywart, Mum. We’re really relaxed with each other, you know? There’s no way he’d do something so sneaky. Really, just trust me.”

Well, to be honest the relaxed thing is kind of one-way, but if I started talking about evil god armies Mum would probably freak. The point is that he wouldn’t do that. I know what he’s like.

“J-, Just listening to you is giving me a headache…” Mum said, as her feet became a little unsteady.

“Mum, you really don’t have to worry so much.”

“Tilea, you don’t understand just how terrifying nobles can be.”

“No, no, I really do. I mean, they’re nobles, right? Leaving Or aside, nobles are like, really rich and perverted, right? Down with the bourgeoisie!” I said as I mimed a pitchfork. “Am I right?”

“Take this seriously, Tilea!”

“Owowow, Maam, sh-shtop dat!”

Mum kept pulling on my cheeks like taffy.

It’s really not a big deal. It’s Or.

But my carefree attitude was just making Mum more and more suspicious of him.

After finally letting go of my cheeks, Mum’s expression turned strained and she began to talk seriously again.

“Tilea, listen carefully to me. I haven’t always lived in Beruga Town, you know. When I was young I used to live in the Royal Capital, and I was something a bit like an adventurer for a time.”

“Wow~ Really? I had no idea. Is that when you met Dad?”

“Yes. Your Dad and I met while I was still in the Capital. It’s my happiest memory here. But it wasn’t all good things. You see…”

With that, Mum began telling me about her bad memories here. About how horrid the nobles were. About how they would smile gracefully as they trampled on the commoners. And then about all the times her friends and acquaintances had fallen victim to that.

At first I was just listening with interest. But Mum’s stories were horrid, and after just a few minutes my attitude with Or had done a complete turnaround.

This last story was completely skin-crawling. It was about a noble that people said was devil in human skin.

……

…………

……………………

“W-What happened to her?”

“She died. By the end both her body and mind were in tatters. The Fiend had targeted her family from the start. He used sweet words and false kindness to trick her… I’d never regretted my own powerlessness more.”

Mum’s expression was filled with grief. It really drove home just how painful it was for her.

And to be honest that girl’s situation had a lot in common with mine. Or’s over-investment in me. How he would always praise and adore me even though he was a high-ranking noble.

But the truth of it was…

“A-Awawawa! T-Then Or’s been tricking me? H-He’s been going after me, or m-maybe Timu?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I need to meet with him to find out. We might let go of the shop in Beruga depending.”

“T-, That can’t be… B-, Because I was being an idiot, the shop… the shop that you and Dad are so proud of… uu… guh… uuu…”

“Don’t cry, Tilea. Mum is happy as long as you two are safe. I don’t need the shop.”

“Uu, wahh, I-I’m sorry Mum… I-, I should have been… more careful…”

“Everything is going to be okay, Tilea.”

Mum stroked my head as she held me in her arms.

But while I was crying in regret…

“I have arrived, Tilea-sama. I have completed damned Ortissio’s training.”

…Pervert(Nielsen) arrived with a smug smile, and The Fiend(Or) was right behind him.


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32 thoughts on “Turf War – Chapter 14”

    1. She did though. She was the one who went on a fit about how Timu wasn’t herself and was possessed by a demon in the earlier chapters.

      Tilea is the same as ever, and normal to everyone since she has plot armor that automatically adjusts her powers for every situation to ensure hilarity.

      Like

  1. A expected of tilea, hilarious as always. Those chapters always bring a smile to my face. And make me laugh out loud several times too.

    Thanks for the chapter.

    Hopefully Or won’t be hurt too much by tilea after that. The poor guy’s been kind of bullied since a while back. Almost as much as Pervert(Nielsen).

    Like

  2. The best series is backkkkk! And now all the pieces are set in place for the meeting. It’s always amazing just being able to foresee how all of this will unfold in the most ridiculous way before it happens.

    Also, thanks again for all the recommendations for Worm, they’ve been great!

    Liked by 1 person

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