Reika-sama – 088

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The joke is that it took me over a month to release this because I finished it two weeks ago but then went to sleep and forgot I ever did it! HA HA HA!

Are you guys laughing too?



The results for the finals were out. Naturally my name was nowhere to be seen.
The top-three were the same as ever. Kaburagi, Enjou, and Wakaba-chan in that order. Wakaba-chan really is such a smart cookie. You’re amazing, Wakaba-chan~ This is going to make some people really unhappy though…
Oh! And Fellow Stalking-Horse dropped to 7th! Are you being a little careless about your studies, my comrade?! I’m not that smart so it’s up to you to drag up the Stalking Horses, okay? You’re the hope of our village. As candidate for next village head, you need to make us proud.
Anyhow, I ended up at rank 86. Uguh, it’s so bad that I can’t even talk about it! At this rate I might actually end up in the triple digits. Better take the summer studies seriously. Studying, dieting, spiritual training… This summer is going to be busy.

“Hey,” Kikuno suddenly said. “How about we all go somewhere together this summer?”

Ehhhh! An outing with friends! That sounds wonderful!

“Do you think we’ll be able to book anything in time?”

“My, what if you simply came to my family’s villa?”

The girls began kicking up an excited fuss.
Since we basically all have villas, they started discussing which one we were going to use. I’d better ask my family as well.
I mean, I’m assuming that I’m included of course. I am, right? Right? I mean, I’ve got a villa too, so let me into the conversation?

***

On the last Sunday before the summer break officially began, Sakura-chan and I went to do that Zazen meditation I mentioned.
First the Zen Master taught us how to sit and meditate properly, and then had us enter the temple. I was happy to find that it was cool inside. I don’t think I would have been able to meditate if it was humid.
I couldn’t manage the full lotus position so I sat down in the half-lotus instead, and half-closed my eyes. Focus. Control your breathing. Control your heart.
I mean the breathing part is fine and all but controlling my mind~? Weird thoughts kinda keep popping up.
Or so I thought, but with the room so quiet my mind started to calm down. My heart quieted down, and my eyes began to close.
Ah-, Zen Master-san suddenly stood behind me. Could he tell I was falling asleep? I leant to the left so that he could tap my shoulder with his stick. It hurt less than I’d expected. Was he holding back because I was a frail girl? But thanks to that I was getting sleepy again…

-smack-

By the end of it I was so drowsy that my body was swaying all over the place. I can’t even remember if he hit me again.

After a thirty minute session of that, we had some tea and then the Zen Master gave us a sermon. Then it was onto rewriting sutras. Wow, I thought it was just going to be the meditation.
I placed the paper on top of the original and then began to trace it. Oh. This was easier than I thought. I used to do the same thing for writing practice as a child.
Turns out it wasn’t that easy. Zen Master-san told us that by tracing this our hearts would be revealed. I looked at Sakura-chan’s perfect kanji, and then looked at some of the weird squiggles on mine. I’ll bet this one over here happened while I was thinking about the Japanese-style café we’d be going to after. My mind really is filled to the brim with worldly desires, isn’t it.
After submitting our copies to the temple, our day at the temple was brought to a close.

“Reika. You didn’t learn a thing, did you,” said Sakura-chan, the very moment we reached the café. Oh. I had originally planned to reflect during the training, hadn’t I.

“Seriously, because of all the smacking sounds coming from the side I could barely concentrate myself. And I swear you started rocking back and forth near the end too…”

“That was a test of your heart and spirit, Sakura-chan. If something so little can sway you from the Path then I don’t know what to say to you.”

“…He should have smacked you with a real cane instead.”

I was just reciting what the Zen Master had said. And a real cane would have actually hurt.

“And today was so easy because I deliberately chose a mellow place for you, okay. Had we gone to one of the hardcore places you’d be tenderised steak right now.”

“Ehh~ But you got hit too.”

“I asked him to.”

Wow, you’re amazing.

“Well? Did you reflect at all…?”

She sighed as I stared at the sweets menu.

“Guess not, huh.”

You’re wrong. I was just looking, that’s all. I wasn’t planning on eating at all, I swear.

“Ahh~ Nirvana isn’t such an easy place to get into, you know~”

“I hope you fall onto the path of the chubster.”

Stop that. Don’t you remember what Mr. Zen Master said? Words have power so you shouldn’t say cruel things to others, remember? How are you going to take responsibility if I really turn into a fatty?

“Look, you really need to start exercising, Reika. How about that hot yoga stuff, or maybe aerial yoga?”

“You sure do love yoga, Sakura-chan.”

I’ve been doing my best with sit-ups and hula hoops, and I can just do yoga at home. If I’m going to go out of my way then maybe some other sport would be better.
Anyhow, I somehow managed to restrain myself from ordering one of the Japanese-styled sweets and forced myself to settle with a cold matcha drink instead.
When I don’t eat my tummy shrinks. But it swells again the moment I do. Geez, this is why it’s so easy to get careless~ It feels like I’ll lose weight as soon as I start eating less.
But I was determined to stick to my guns this time. That time with the pregnancy misunderstanding was a huge shock. I was actually still pretty depressed about it.
I sealed away the dress from that day too. It had to be part of the problem.
And when I sit down my flab comes out, so I was sitting with my stomach clenched at all times.

“Say, Sakura-chan? Do I look too old?”

“Huh? No? Your face has been getting rounder these days so if anything you look awfully young. Don’t worry about it.”

So my face has been getting rounder…

***

Today was the first day of my summer cram school.
And wow, was this on a different scale to my middle school one.
We were allowed to sit wherever so I picked a middle seat, a bit further back than average.
I wonder if there are any Suiran kids. Hmmm. Everybody looks so smart.

While I was looking around, a group of boys and girls took the seats next to me. They all seemed to be friends. Whoaa… What is this feeling unbelievable sense of isolation.
The bag of the boy next to me steadily encroached on my territory. But he had his back to me and was completely focused on the conversation with his friends. Why am I feeling so ignored.
Oh no. The trauma from my remedials…
Just as I was moping, the boy suddenly laughed like crazy and smacked me with his hand. Ow…

“Ah, soz.”

“…It is fine.”

More importantly, I’d appreciate it if you noticed your bag as well.

“Whoa! This chick is like a total rich girl ojousama!”

“And her hair is done up so neatly~”

Urgh.

“Hey, hey, what school you go to?” asked the boy behind me.

And he had a bunch of earrings too. So gaudy.

“…I attend Suiran.”

“Whooooooooa! Suiraaan! Total rich girlll!”

I don’t know what was so interesting about it but they all seemed really intrigued.
And although the girls had smiles on their faces, I could see them secretly appraising me. Scary…

“Hey, so what’s your name?”

“…My name is Kisshouin Reika.”

“Even your name sounds rich! Dooope!”

…What the hell.
…I picked completely the wrong seat.
No, I picked completely the wrong cram school.
This has got to be the first time I’ve ever been treated so carelessly in all my time as Kisshouin Reika.
This has got to be the worst treatment I’ve had short of that pregnancy incident. I have complete confidence that if I drew a fortune right now it would say “Huge Curse”.

“C’mon, cut that out. You’re troubling the poor girl. The ojousama of Suiran are just totally different from us, you know?” said one of the guys next to Gaudy Piercings.

The girls started staying stuff like “Yeah, guys~ Cut it out~” as well.

Hmph! As if anybody thinks you mean it!

I played up my indifference and began looking through my coursework. It was time to make use of the mindset I cultivated at the temple!
But despite my best efforts, the idiot behind me wouldn’t stop pulling and playing with my hair! My hair of all things! Had we been born an era earlier I’d imprison you in the goddamned Bastille for that!
And who the heck pulls on a girl’s hair! Are you actually a high schooler? Are you actually?
The final straw was the fact that when class actually started all of the idiots around me turned out to be way smarter than I was.

***

That’s it. The moment I get home I’m performing a salt-exorcism on all four sides of my room.


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77 thoughts on “Reika-sama – 088”

  1. The joke is that it took me over a month to release this because I finished it two weeks ago but then went to sleep and forgot I ever did it! HA HA HA!

    Are you guys laughing too?
    ——————————————————-
    Not laughing. :(

    Liked by 16 people

  2. “Are you guys laughing too?”
    Yeah, I’m laughing.
    ahahahahahahahaha….
    *Starts searching for his pitchfork*

    Thanks for the (really late) chapter :)
    So, where is that cram school exactly?
    I need to know because of… reasons. Arsonist reasons.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Outside, with her pristine perfect image(beautiful, intelligent, rich, calm personality), no. Inside her messy brain, yes.

      Like

  3. Is it wrong of me to hope she’ll befri8end those trouble kids? They just seem like my type of people.
    Besides imagine this, all her rich kids friends’ meeting them, and is so appalled that she blends in with “commoners” 😂😂😉😉

    **** did they really pull her hair. Reika needs to smack someone.
    Ignore me, I’m such a trouble maker

    Liked by 7 people

    1. That’s what I was thinking too. Widen her range of friends, freak out some of her rich school friends with this trouble making group

      Like

  4. I wonder how this will go.

    They could just be a trial that she’ll suffer. Or she might end up making new fields. Or perhaps one of her existing friends is going to swoop in and scary them off?

    Like

  5. “The final straw was the fact that when class actually started all of the idiots around me turned out to be way smarter than I was.”

    Almost forgot how great this LN was.

    Liked by 8 people

  6. not funny…i’ve been waiting this entire time trying to delude myself with other similar stories but of course they just dont have the same flavor…

    Like

      1. Oh, you playing Warframe too? I am on PS4’s server though, which platform you’re on? Octavia’s just out so I bet PC’s side will stay busy for awhile. Us PS4 had that Pacifism Defect event but the reward wasn’t that great to be honest.

        Like

            1. Hmm. I was very much a semi-auto DMR style player.
              I prided myself on accuracy with the Sybaris. Although I doubt I’ll pick the game back up again.

              Like

              1. Difficult to explain, this way of accuracy. Aim with your feet and positioning. And use punch-through to ignore obstacles like dead bodies and thin pieces of cover. Instead of spraying you can wind up doing the most damage simply by hitting consistently where you’re guaranteed to do so.
                Really Warframe abilities are kind of pointless in comparison to the purity of just shooting things to death. Melee is only there to fill up the time to stun-lock enemies close-in. Bop, then shoot.

                Like

    1. …Well, I played with the girls. Why settle for just the hair, right?

      (Don’t worry, I’m a changed man now. Consider that as folly of the youth.)

      Like

  7. Thanks 4 the chapter!

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
    I was planning on going for 100 lines, but it seems too creepy.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. At least they didn’t play with their spit and pinch you.Damn it I remembered something I really wanna forget.Thanks alot.
    As compensation keep up the good work and feed us with more Reika. Thanks for the update…

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Hoooooolllllly shmoking snitch!!!! An update. And here I thought is April fools 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Thank yoooou!!

    And that last part though killed me😂😂😂 lol. The whole thing with the last straw is they’re smarter than me😂 Hahahaha. Fighting Reika-sama

    Liked by 3 people

  10. “Even your name sounds rich! Dooope!”
    lol

    yeah… I’m laughing Ohohohoho~ oops… what’s this? someone dropped a knife.. oh my~ this is so dangerous… what kind of person dropped this thing? ԅ(≖‿≖ ;ԅ)

    Liked by 4 people

  11. hahaha I love Reika love her to bits, I can see her being teased and taunted and doing her best to ignore it hahah, oh I love her hahaha, I wonder if any of her previous cram school buddies might intervene and help her out hahah when she goes to school again.

    Its not like she needs to go now right, her secret forays into the convenience store isnt necessary, so she can just settle on a regular tutor, shes dieting, so no more cheap junk food to horde and indulge in later, otherwise that Prenancy thing will be her new meme hahaha

    Liked by 1 person

  12. The whole oh no i’m fat comming each year is started to piss me off. One time is okay, two is still correct, every freaking year is too much. The author simply ass nothing to write about and went back to fat shaming.

    Like

    1. “Fat Shaming” is a concept made up by Illuminati forces in order to use the American private health system to control the populace via an increase in obesity-related illnesses.

      Really though, being *actually* fat is unhealthy and reflects a lack of self-control, the same way a well-built body reflects constant and never-ending dedication at the gym.

      It’s common sense that the former is something to be ashamed about, and the latter something to be proud of.

      I’m all for getting rid of crazy size-zero expectations on women, but crying about fatness being frowned upon is ridiculous.

      Liked by 2 people

  13. Oh man I didn’t enjoy this particular chapter… usually Reika makes me laugh but today I just felt sorry for her…

    She was always conscious about her weight but the mention of flab, face rounding, and Sakura pointing out that her excercises are ineffective… guh

    And then there’s her drop in rankings, her finding out she’s not as smart as delinquent looking students, and her total airheadedness that makes her lack the focus to self reflect.

    This chapter laid the Reika’s flaws on a bit too thick today…

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Ahhhhg I don’t actually get people who play with others hair nor I do like them!And the reason is simple!I suffered greatly because of them in elementary school,middle school and even in high school! Every time was a nightmare !!! Reika! You poor thing! You suffered! sob sob sob …I’m definitely not crying because I remembered something of the past!

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Well, I’m laughing. Even if all those other sticks aren’t laughing, I’m finding this entire thing hilarious~!

    Then again, it might just be the delicious reactions~

    Hehe~ Thanks for the chapter!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. No, not laughing, but I promise to laugh lots with you if you give us more Reika chapters soon!
    But honestly, I was happy- since you posted on April 1st, I was totally scared you were messing with us, Reika starved fans.

    Thanks so much for the hard work!

    Like

  17. I was just thinking… how much is she snack for her to have constant weight gain. She seems to exercise more than me but almost every few chapters is about her getting fat…. I fear for her future, her metabolism should be in its prime but she’s been having weight problems since the very beginning

    I still love Reika tho!

    Like

  18. This is irrelevant to the chapter, but will there be any Reika’s brother POV in the later chapters? I actually really like reading his POV on Reika, it’s amusing. And Imari’s POV on the two as well.

    Like

    1. I want POV from the kimidol manga protagonists. Mostly, we already know what her brother thinks of Reika and I’d like to at least something of a passing nod to the original premise, which is that Reika 1 is a villain and that Reika 2 has fundamentally different relationships to the “main cast.” They’re shoujo cliches and we know how they operate, but it’d still be nice to see them bounce off Reika.

      Like

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