Reika-sama – 080

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ. Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!

I intend to translate more these next few weeks. The brainwashing of the Clinton News Network caused me to focus my time on other things, but now that Trump has freed me I will dedicate myself to Making Novels Great Again.

After the excursion comes the mid-term exams.
Because of all the smart External Students that flooded into my school, I need to study harder than ever.
Actually, I’ve been taking it easy these days so I haven’t enrolled in a new cram school for high school yet. Right now I’ve only got a home tutor.

Before the exams began I decided to increase my lessons with her.

“Reika-san, you just always seem to struggle with maths, don’t you. I think you can improve if you keep up the practice though, so keep trying.”


But that’s the hard part. I hate doing these questions…
If I don’t though I might get called in for remedials again. I’ll pass on those days of isolation again. And even though I’m really just some small fry I want everybody to keep saying “As expected of Reika-sama”!
For the sake of this petty pride I continued to battle with these baffling equations.


For the upcoming exams, this time I got my hands on some energy drinks. After all, I normally sleep 7 hours a night. If I get any less I start wobbling with sleepiness.
But when I was in the store seeing them priced at over 1,000 Yen each, they suddenly seemed like a bit much to drink casually. These felt more like something you’d buy for desperate cramming.
Thanks to that I decided to just buy a three-pack of the popular stuff to start off with.
Hm, the taste was pretty nostalgic. I did drink it from time to time in my old life after all.
I’m not sure if it helped at all but I used them to study as hard as I could so I’m feeling pretty satisfied.
Although, when Okaasama saw my empty bottles in the bin she started worrying about me and said,

“You’re a girl so you really needn’t push yourself too far.”

She gave me a lot of scarily expensive beauty drinks so I drank those too.
Well whatever. Come at me whenever, mid-terms!


So, about those mid-terms that I drank a bunch of energy drinks to study for… Well, it was still me doing the tests after all…
Anyway, Okaasama dragged me to beauty and hair salons after the exams ended. She really is fussy about how I look, isn’t she. Totally fixated on making sure I look like her image of an ‘ojousama’. Thank goodness said image wasn’t dressed in goth loli or something.
Oh, and that random white hair seemed to be gone now. I never want to experience that tragedy again. That’s why from now on I’m going to make sure to get full workovers more often at salons.
A few days after those treatments left my skin and hair sparkling, the results of the mid-terms were posted.

At Suiran, only the top 30 are posted. Since we have roughly 300 students it’s absolutely impossible for me.
…But although I say ‘absolutely’, I still can’t help but hope somewhere in my heart. Why is that?
Even though I’m wearing this modest expression that says I can’t imagine being up there, I’m still going to check it out.
I looked up nervously, but yep, wasn’t there.
Still, there sure were a lot of new names up there. They had to be all the Externals. As expected of them.
And at the very top, shining brilliantly were two names:

1. Kaburagi Masaya
2. Enjou Shuusuke

Just how crazy are these guys. Their cumulative result was pretty much full-marks. Just what do they have there inside their heads. I’m so jealous. Since middle school they’ve always been unshaken in the top two places. Well, the two of them would swap positions though.
Also, although 1st and 2nd place were these two, 3rd place was Wakaba-chan! And her marks were super close to theirs as well. Isn’t it completely possible for her to overtake them next time!?
The girl herself was staring dumbly up at the board with unruly hair as always. I just can’t see her as smart… Wakaba-chan, your mouth is hanging open! You look ridiculous, so please close it already!
The students around me were murmuring about the identity of this mysterious ‘Takamichi Wakaba’ but I can’t imagine anybody would connect that name with the spaced out girl in front of me. I guess she’s like the perfect example of that saying about a capable eagle hiding its talons.
On another note, Stalking Horse managed to grab 5th place despite all these new Externals. That’s amazing, Stalking Horse! As a fellow stalking horse, I’m proud of you!
Anyway, when Wakaba-chan noticed her name up there, relief flooded her expression. I guess this is pretty much life or death for a scholarship student. Congratulations.

It was around that moment that Kaburagi and Enjou came along. They normally don’t care at all about these but I guess they’re here this time because of all the new students?
As they came sauntering down, the students all parted left and right for them.
After confirming their own names at the top, Kaburagi muttered,

“Who’s this Takamichi Wakaba?”

Some of the students heard him and pointed her out to him.
After taking one look at her, he simply left with Enjou. Although Kaburagi was expressionless as always, Enjou had a faint look of interest on his face.
The moment they left the crowd grew noisy. It felt a little dangerous, actually. One phrase I managed to catch was “…knowing her place” though…

Nobody was mad enough to publicly attack her, but it seemed like there were a lot of people quietly dissatisfied with her threatening the pair’s dominance on the rankings. The fact that she was poor and stuck out like a sore thumb certainly didn’t help.
But wow, even if they say that, Wakaba-chan is a scholarship student, you know? She has to get good marks. And if you’re worried about people threatening those two, why didn’t you complain when Stalking Horse took 3rd place all of middle school.
When I asked out of curiosity they told me, “Mizusaki-kun is different.”
What the heck. Is it his face? Is it because his face looks good?
Not only that, but according to the others, Stalking Horse had a charm that both the boys and girls were drawn in by. Well, I guess that’s not really surprising since he made it to StuCo President.
That doesn’t mean that you can blame your own shortcomings on some innocent External girl though.

“The External Students entered only after passing some very rigorous tests after all. That they have good grades is a given. Instead we should be marvelling at how Kaburagi-sama and Enjou-sama defeated them all despite that,” I commented.

“Truly! As expected of those two!”

It’s almost never a mistake to use the names of those two when dealing with girls. The atmosphere was filled with their delighted squealing now.

When I got my report card handed to me, it listed my rank as 73. Hmmm… Should I be feeling happy about this rank?



Recently I’ve found a new method of stress relief. It’s called needle felting.
You’ve got this ball of wool and you poke at it with needles. It’s actually weirdly fun. I’ve been following the instructions in the textbook, and my latest creation is a snowman. Well, it’s basically just two white balls and two dots for eyes though.
Also when I get too into it my eyes start to hurt so I have to pay attention to the time. MY EYES-! MY EYEEEES-!

I usually do this in my room, but occasionally I camp out in the living room too.
Today I’m making a Tarow the Taro. I’m using brown felt this time.

-poke poke poke…-

When Oniichan saw me after a late night at work he asked me,

“Who’s the target!?”

It’s not a voodoo doll…


Geez. I wish I had some friends in the arts and crafts to understand my feelings. I wanna join the Handicrafts Club…
Should I pretend to be socially oblivious and just force my way in?
But if I do that I’ll just end up isolated in the room again. Uuu, these tears are just because I’m straining my eyes, okay?


is a reference to the typical stereotypical chuunibyou phrase,

“My eye-! My eyeeee-!”

when their left eye goes red and they unleash their power or whatever.

Japanese has no plurals, so Reika’s line is exactly the same as the above.

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Turf War – Chapter 11

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.
If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!

Join the Evil God Army on discord!

I intend to translate more these next few weeks. The brainwashing of the Clinton News Network caused me to focus my time on other things, but now that Trump has freed me I will dedicate myself to Making Novels Great Again.

Chapter 11 – “Urgent meeting! We need to get this store going again!”

An emergency meeting was being held!

Because of my decision as the generalissimo, the entire Evil God Army was in chaos. I’m not sure what exactly Pervert(Nielsen) said to the others but the officers of the Evil God Army all rushed into the meeting room.

Did everyone want to play with me that badly?

Technically I’m the leader of this whole group, but since coming to the Capital I haven’t joined a meeting even once. I guess it can’t be helped that they’re so excited. Ah, the training from the other day was a different matter of course.

Still, sorry to all these guys, but right now isn’t the time for games. We can’t always be shouting “Dispatch the troops!” and “Leave nobody alive!” can we. The store’s existence depends on this. I hope they’ll take this seriously.

Just the lunch coupons aren’t enough. I need other ideas besides――so fast!?

In just the short while that I was thinking to myself, the entirety of the EGA’s leadership lined up in front of me. It hadn’t even been five minutes yet. Why is it that you guys are only this enthusiastic when it comes to games. Well, sorry to disappoint you though.

At any rate, they were all standing there. Waiting for my orders, presumably. And they were all looking expectantly at me too. I’ll bet they were imagining it was time for me to shout “Spread our banner across the lands!” or something.

Originally Timu and the others would invite me to the war councils. I was so busy with the store though, that I never had time for that. That’s why I told them that I would entrust them with everything instead. Right now Timu was looking at me with this face like, ‘finally, Oneesama wants to play’.

I’m sorry, Timu. Right now your Oneechan is in a huge pinch. If she screws this up it’s bankruptcy. We’ll invade the Manamana country some other time, okay?

“Everyone, please sit.”

“”Milady,”” they acknowledged together.

It feels a bit like a real army.

“Ahem. I’ve called you all here today to discuss the matter of the store on the surface.”

“Might you be referring to the restaurant that you run, Tilea-sama?”

“That’s right. So you see, right now I’m kind of in a bit of a pickle. The place is about to shut down, so I’d like some ideas on how to get out of this mess.”

Everyone’s eyes were wide. It must have felt really out of the blue for them.

“Tilea-sama, with all due respect, I was led to believe that Ortissio was regularly supplying you money, but…”

“That’s true, but it brings me shame to say that I’m not making a profit.”

Hearing it come out of my own mouth made me hang my head. He gave me that much money and I’m still in the red.

“Ortissio! Tilea-sama is obviously upset and yet you withhold money!?”

“I-I dare not. I have already told Tilea-sama that it would be no problem to increase the amount of money.”

“I care not for your excuses, Ortissio. You have wasted Oneesama’s time. I trust you are prepared for the consequences.”

“Hii…! B-But Tilea-sama was…”

Whoa whoa. How does it make any sense to blame Ortissio for this? I’m the one responsible.

“C’mon guys, enough of that. Or isn’t in the wrong here. This isn’t a problem about how much money he gives me. It’s true that his money is what’s been keeping it afloat so far, but what I really want to know is why we’re not turning a profit.”

“I understand now, Tilea-sama. In other words, this is a matter of pride.”

Dryas-kun is a smart cookie as always. That’s exactly right. I can’t just keep taking advantage of Or’s money here. And to begin with, it’s really weird that my food isn’t making money.

“Sharp as always, Dryas-kun. You understand my feelings.”

“I am honoured.”

“That’s right. To be frank, I have complete faith in my abilities as a cook. It’s impossible for me to be getting so few customers.”

“It is incomprehensible, Oneesama. How could anybody not understand the value of the best food in history.”

“Yupyup, I’m definitely better than our competitors.”

Even I have enough sense to scout out our rivals. I went to the more bustling restaurants in the Capital to try their food, and I was one or two levels higher than everyone out there. I can’t say they were bad. It’s just that they were B-rank cooks at best.

“Mere cooking though it may be, it is unacceptable for anybody to defeat Tilea-sama,” Pervert(Niel) exclaimed indignantly. It seems like agreement at first but…

Hey, Pervert(Niel). What did you say just now? MERE COOKING!?

You’re supposed to be an employee at our restaurant! What the fuck are you saying!?

Pervert(Niel) is my subordinate, okay? Not just in some make-believe army, but in an honest to god work environment Pervert(Niel) is my subordinate. But despite that, despite being in the culinary industry, he goes and spouts outrageous crap like that. Is that how an employee is supposed to act.



“Minus ten points!”


I pegged a pencil-thing hard at him, like a teacher throwing chalk at her bad student.

Pervert(Nielsen) staggered a bit before collapsing. Guess it was a critical hit. He was just laying there.

Hm, did I take things a bit far? Ah, that’s no good. No matter how badly the management of the store is going, it’s never an excuse to throw things at people.

“Sorry, Niel. Are you okay?”

“Uguhg. Hahh, hahh, I-, I am f-fine…”

He put up a strong front but his legs were still trembling. Ah geez, I shouldn’t have used violence on somebody so fragile. Let’s wait for him to recover.

A few minutes later…

Pervert(Nielsen) was finally able to sit back in his chair.

“You okay now, Niel?”

“There is no issue, Milady. So what mistake did I make?”

What mistake!? You don’t even understand!? Hahh~ This guy really lacks self-awareness about his job at Berum Restaurant.

“Niel. You’re my subordinate. DUU YUU ANDASTAN?”

“Certainly. I am your faithful servant, Tilea-sama.”

“Then be a bit more aware of that fact. You’re working at my restaurant, and yet you’d say something like ‘mere food’. If our employees aren’t taking their jobs seriously, do you really think we can turn this store around!”

“M-, My deepest apologies. My words certainly were counter to your desires.”

“Huu~ Think about this carefully next time, okay?”

“As you wish.”

I sighed.

Does anybody else have any ideas?

I looked around.

Mn? Edim looked like she was fidgeting for some reason.

Before long…

“U-, Umm, Tilea-sama.”

“My, Edim. Do you have anything to say?”

“Yes. What if I turned all the humans into my kin and ordered them to come to the restaurant?”

Edim, please don’t say such scary things so casually. I hope this is a joke, but when it comes to Edim it’s a terrifyingly real possibility.
And she’s hurt my pride by saying something like that.

“Edim, are you looking down on me?”

“Never, I would never do such a thing.”

“You know, by suggesting a plan to force people to come you’re basically saying that my cooking isn’t enough to do it! Do you get that?

“Honestly, even you’re saying stupid things like Niel. Next time I’ll hit you with a kukanomi, okay?”


After that, Timu and the others continued suggesting violent and outrageous plans. One guy even suggested massacring the ‘foolish townsfolk who fail to understand the greatness of (my) cooking!’

Huu, I swear these guys have a one-track mind…

Is it actually impossible to talk seriously with a chuunibyou? I can’t believe I’m wondering this just now.

“Hey, does anybody have any serious ideas?”

“Tilea-sama, may I?” asked the previously silent Dryas as he raised a hand.

The star of the show is finally here.

“Sure, sure. Tell me what you’ve got.”

“Milady. In my humble opinion, your cooking is perfection itself. The deficit the restaurant is experiencing has another cause. The position of the store, the lack of advertising, and finally the pricing of the menu appear to be the problems.”

As expected of Dryas-kun, finally a serious answer. A chuunibyou though you may be, you’ve really shown how different you are to the others.

“Mn, mn, continue.”

“Yes, Milady. This restaurant is located at the very end of Western Street, in a place beyond notice. Furthermore, due to the lack of advertisement, I presume that many have not even heard of its existence.”

“I see. I guess this is pretty out of the way.”

“Finally, our position means that few pedestrians on Western Street would come as far as here. They tend to congregate towards the centre.”

Could it mean that he wants us to move the store? But that’s impossible. There’s the issue of money for one thing, but Or and Edim are still wanted suspects. We need the underground housing because they need to lay low until the heat dies down.”

“But moving is impossible, Dryas-kun.”

“Indeed. This is the best position to avoid revealing our headquarters. Moving the store would be undesirable.”

“I thought so too. Then I guess we just have to try harder with advertising? Also, you said there was an issue with the pricing?”

“Yes. To put it simply, the prices are entirely too cheap. Far from making a profit, we struggle to even break even.”

“I thought the ingredients would have been cheaper, but they were so expensive that I didn’t think any customers would come. That’s why I thought I’d focus on making a lot of small profits instead, but…”

“Tilea-sama, what if we change the target demographic to the wealthy? At this pricing, even a thousand customers a day would not bring a profit.”

“I-IT’S THAT BAD!? Mmmn, but wringing the rich for their money is a bit… I’d prefer it if more people could taste my cooking.”

“I understand. Everything is for the sake of your desires. In that case, we will adjust the prices more conservatively and order Edim’s kin to promote the store.”


I knew I was right to believe in him. Next time I should just talk alone with him. That way I won’t waste so much time.

“Beyond that, we can shave down the cost of the ingredients a little, and order the troops to gather ingredients.”

“Yeah, I guess there are the middleman fees if we keep buying from the market, huh.”

If we were on the internet I’d be spamming the Like button right now.

“In that case the ingredients shall be gathered by sending the Second Division on expeditions.”

“W-Wait a moment. My Second Division has been working non-stop at suppressing the neighbouring settlements. It would be impossible to take on the job of ingredient gathering as well,” Or interjected.

He tried to convey just how busy he was but Dryas-kun was having none of it.

“Enough whining! Ortissio, this is not a request. As Chief of General Staff I am ordering you to do so.”

“H-, However…”

“Ortissio, I thought you were supposed to be demonstrating your loyalty!” roared Pervert(Nielsen).

“Ortissio, know that if you continue your excuses I will personally tear your mouth off,” added Timu.

You guys are a bit too harsh…

“Y-Yes, h-hic, I un-understand…  Then I sh-shall… hic, accept this… mission.”

Or was really starting to cry now. Aah, not this again. I’ve told them so many times to stop picking on Or already…

“That’s enough, everyone.”

“H-However, damned Ortissio is being too――”


Everyone went silent, and Or looked up at me with his tear-stained face.

“H-, Hic, T-Tilea-sama…”

“Or, I know that you take the occasional trip out of the capital. When you’re out there, if you happen to come across any good ingredients then I’d like it if you brought them back with you.”

“Hic, i-ingredients…?”

“Mn, if you say it’s impossible, then I won’t force you. We’re done discussing it, and I won’t let anybody say otherwise.”

“Tilea-sama… Just how far does your compassion and greatness go…”

“Huhu, your flattery is really over-the-top.”

“Not at all. I am not praising you enough.”

With that, Or was back to normal. I guess he’s done crying.

“So Or, think you can do it?”

“Yes, Milady! I, lowly Ortissio, profoundly apologise for complaining over merely accepting two tasks. Please leave it to me. I shall accomplish this without fail.”

“Okay. I’ll look forward to it then. Ah, but enough about the subjugation of the villages or whatever. You don’t need to feel pressured over something like that.”

“Please be at ease. I will prioritise the gathering of ingredients. The likes of those settlements will not take up our time. If it takes too long then we can simply exterminate them all.”

“I-, I see… Don’t go too crazy with your games, okay?”

“Huhu, games indeed. I understand. I will calmly deal with it all.”

<Previous Chapter | Imouto | Next Chapter>

Greetings, Kudarajin reporting in!

*Appears in an explosion of light*

Hello everyone, this is Kudarajin!
Bow down and kow-tow to me, plebeians! *Cough* Ehem. Ignore that please.

Some of you may know me already from my site for translating stuff.
Wha? You don’t? Really? Oh……

Anyhow! I joined Oniichanyamete to translate ‘At the Northern Fort’! I’m picking up from chapter 6 (Frolicking), where Estelion left it. Already posted some too, courtesy of Estelion-sama. I have no regular schedule for that series (yet) actually maybe never will set one but anyway I hope you enjoy it!

This is my first time working with someone else for my translations, and I am immensely grateful to our Holy Sheeprabbit Estelion-sama for helping out with my crappy engrish translations. Not sure how well I’ll do, but please take care of me.

Also, fellow OCY members call me ‘Christina’, so you can call me that. It might actually be encouraged that you do so.

So, let’s do this! 4649! See you later!

*Showers people with fake gold coins*
*Disappears in a puff of smoke*



Port Town Alrescha

“So this is Hanapecha.”

“It’s Alrescha. Do you like the town?”

“It’s quite nice. The wind is a bit salty, but it feels good.”

The salty breeze was strong enough to be smelt from the bed of the carriage. It was the characteristic smell of a coastal region.

The view of the townscape from the carriage gave off the feel of a foreign port town. The slightly old-fashioned look of the buildings also let off a pleasant atmosphere. There’s nothing to criticize about it as a tourist spot.

… It would have been a good idea to have mentioned something about the food situation to loligramps.

While it was charming to have a quiet place where I could sleep for as long as I wanted, if I had stayed there, I would have starved.

Because a person happened to be passing by, I ended up leaving my birthplace… but this new area looked pretty nice. I wanted to quickly have a nap.

“Well then, I’m fine here.”

“Ah… W-Wait a second Arge-san.”

As I started to step off of the carriage, Zeno calls out to me.

To be blunt, the name Arge that I have gotten used to being called over the past few days was really half-assedly picked.

My full name is Argento Vampear. Argento is the Italian word for silver and Vampear is the French word for vampire.

(TL: I chose to write ‘vampire’ as ‘vampear’ to distinguish it from the english word. It’s the usual trouble with Japanese being able to use foreign words for everything. Take 吸血鬼 and ヴァンパイア as an example, although it’s written ヴァンピール in this novel.  Seriously, I’m going to shoot someone one of these days over katakana…)

I could have used the name from my past life, but Kuon Ginji is definitely a guy’s name. I may have felt like a guy inside, but I was physically a girl, so I ended up picking a name that sounded feminine.


“Please take this and this.”

Zeno-kun searched the inside of carriage and handed me a black hooded cape and leather bag. When I took the bag, it made a jingling sound. It’s pretty heavy, is there gold inside?

“There might only be a little, but please use it as funds for your travels.”

“Ah, so this is money… Is this ok, even though you’re a merchant?”

I wasn’t thinking about that problem at all, so the truth is, I was super thankful for the cash… however, for a merchant, money is supposed to be more important than anything else. Was it really okay for him to so readily give this to someone with such a suspicious background?

“It’s because you saved my life. Also, while you’re in town, please try to keep the hood on. Arge-san stands out a lot, so this way it should stop… you know, stop you from being hit on.”

Ah, that does sound like a pain.

From what I can tell, it isn’t an exaggeration to call the current me’s appearance an unrivaled beautiful girl.

Judging from the Terrier Bandits’ and Zeno-kun’s reactions, my evaluation didn’t seem to be wrong. For this reason, it might end up being important to cover my face. I have no interest in men. If they were to feed and care for me, it’s a different story though.

… Zeno-kun seemed like the diligent type.

If I were to marry a person like this, helping out with his business seems tiresome.

To make matters worse, he’s a peddler, Meaning, unless he retires, there will never be a chance to settle down. As a target to leech off of, he’s not perfect. This sucks.

Also, the uncomfortableness of the carriage’s luggage area lost him some points as well.

Even if you docked these points, there’s no mistaking Zeno-kun is a good person. He had even done all of this for me.

“Uun… I feel kinda bad after all this.”

“It’s fine. Even for me, I feel kinda bad after receiving a horse.”

No, that’s just something you picked up from the Terrier Bandits.

“I still can’t casually accept this. I can’t repay you with anything right now though… how about next time we meet?”

“Next time?”

“Yes. If we meet again and Zeno-kun is in trouble, please let me save you.”

In exchange for saving his life, the thing I requested of him was to feed me.

I had already received my reward. That’s why I considered him taking me this far, clothing me, and giving me money a separate case from that deal.

It might have felt natural to Zeno-kun, but me being unable to pay back his goodwill makes me feel sick.

I might be extremely lazy, but I’m the type to properly settle my debts.

Even if I thought that, all I have is my body. Even the clothes I am wearing don’t belong to me.

The only thing I can pay with right now is a verbal promise.

Of course, a verbal promise is still a promise. If we were to ever meet again, if I had something to pay him with, I would gladly pay the price. It’s this type of feeling behind this promise.

After making this promise, it’s probably best to go our separate ways for now.

“… If you put it that way, I understand.”

“Well then, I’ll be off. Thank you so much. Please hire proper bodyguards from now on.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Stay healthy, Arge-san!”

I properly pulled down the hood and jumped off the carriage.

With some reluctance, I walked quickly and disappeared into the crowd without looking back.

Well then, first things first…

“… Let’s get some lunch.”

Naps are nice and all, but I just received money, so let’s gratefully use it. Money is only valuable when used after all.

Reika-sama – 079

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.

If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!

In celebration of our new God Emperor!

Also, I forgot to recommend them last time but!

Go Gently by Shana the Short (SB)
A rather funny alternate universe story about this completely oblivious Taylor who is friends with Emma, Sophia, and “Mr. Eikawa”.

Queen of the Swarm by Vherstinae (SB)
A pretty good Starcraft/Worm crossover where Taylor develops a Crawler-like ‘Kerrigan’ physiology.

The day of the excursion was met with clear weather. I departed after a good meal.
I’ve had a history of suffering on these excursions but this year I was a little different. I thought of a way to walk without tiring!
In the past I always took large strides in order to make more progress. But the trick in mountain climbing is to take small steps!
Why didn’t anybody teach me this earlier! Just how much unnecessary suffering did I go through…
Besides that, I also brought out my old stepper machine to train. Say goodbye to the exhausted Reika!

Well, to cut to the chase I ended up in the lagging groups again, but maybe because it was an easier hike this year, I had more fun than expected. I want to believe that it was my stepper training and strategy at work.
If only things were this easy every year. Being the kind girl that I am, I told all my fellow slowpokes about my small steps tactic.
But you know, there have always been some kids that were worse than me, you know? It’s just that they all throw in the towel early and ride away in a car. Last time they were sitting at the base of the mountain drinking tea or something. Isn’t that kind of unfair?
I’d want to do that too! But being the coward that I am, I never could find the timing to quit, so I was stuck with climbing to the end. And since the exercise was oddly good for my circulation I wasn’t hit by a wave of anaemia the one time it could have made itself useful.
Anyway, there were plenty of kids who retired early this time too, riding away gracefully in their car. Well, some of those were members of my group though. For example, my fellow Pivoine member Haginokouji Fuyuko-sama, whose face would probably look good with those round eyebrows that the ancient Heian nobility wore.

A style that was popular in the Heian era.
A style that was popular in the Heian era amongst nobility.

Fuyuko-sama is attached to my group because it’s the biggest faction, but she’s a bit different to everyone else. Maybe it’s because of her face, but it kinda feels like she lives in another world…
Sakura-chan might be “Japanese style” but this girl is plain “ancient Japanese”. She’d probably look more natural in a juunihitoe than western clothes.

The juunihitoe (十二単) is an extremely elegant and highly complex kimono that was only worn by court-ladies in Japan. Literally translated, it means "twelve-layer robe". The juunihitoe started to appear around the 10th century during the Heian Era. Today, the juunihitoe can only be seen in museums, movies, costume demonstrations, tourist attractions or at certain festivals.
The juunihitoe (十二単) is an extremely elegant and highly complex kimono that was only worn by court-ladies in Japan. Literally translated, it means “twelve-layer robe”. The juunihitoe started to appear around the 10th century during the Heian Era. Today, the juunihitoe can only be seen in museums, movies, costume demonstrations, tourist attractions or at certain festivals.

“Look, Reika-sama. We can see the ocean.”

“Truly. How beautiful.”

Yes, I have enough energy to speak this year. It’s wonderful. I wish I had this much energy every year.
Or rather, if we just didn’t climb a mountain each time I wouldn’t have this problem to begin with. We went to Kamakura this year, so we should have just stuck to money-washing,

Zeniarai Benten Shrine (銭洗弁天) is a popular shrine in western Kamakura, which people visit to wash their money (zeniarai means "coin washing"). It is said that money washed in the shrine's spring, will double.
Zeniarai Benten Shrine (銭洗弁天) is a popular shrine in western Kamakura, which people visit to wash their money (zeniarai means “coin washing”). It is said that money washed in the shrine’s spring, will double.


 Warabimochi (蕨餅, warabi-mochi) is a jelly-like confection made from bracken starch and covered or dipped in kinako (sweet toasted soybean flour). It differs from true mochi made from glutinous rice.

Warabimochi (蕨餅, warabi-mochi) is a jelly-like confection made from bracken starch and covered or dipped in kinako (sweet toasted soybean flour). It differs from true mochi made from glutinous rice.

or just eating soft custard pudding.

Kamakura ‘nama(uncooked) pudding’

I hope I have somebody to go sightseeing with, this time.


When we arrived back at the hotel after the hike I went and changed clothes.
Aah, I can finally get out of this track jacket. They don’t suit me. If possible I’d like to avoid being seen in them outside.
I fixed up my appearance before heading to the hotel for lunch when I found the classes arranged around tables by class. The main course was seafood. All the exercise really gets your appetite up~
Oh! This Kamakura vegetable soup is pretty good!
But when I looked around, the Externals were ignoring the food in favour of huddling their heads together. I see. They still have their entertainment to do, so I suppose it’s no time to be eating. They really have it tough.

Around the time the food was finished, Class 1 began their skit.
Unsurprisingly it was a choir but they had a leader whose voice was trembling a bit. Can’t blame them though. I’m just thanking my lucky stars that I’m not an External…
After that there were concerts and skits too. My class was doing their best singing, with a piano and some people on the tambourines too. I don’t think I’m biased in saying that their practice paid off.
In the class with the concert there was this one kid whipping his hair back and forth as he played the violin, but I have to wonder if he moved into the right school.
Finally, it was Wakaba-chan’s turn.

In the spirit of being in Kamakura, her class performed the “Benten and the Five-Headed Dragon”. According to the story, in the past there was a terrifying five-headed dragon that lived in the Kamakura lake who caused natural disasters, demanded children as sacrifices, and just made life for the villagers hell. But then one day a heavenly nymph descended from the heavens who was so beautiful that the dragon proposed to her, but she rejected him and told him that she couldn’t marry someone wicked, so he reformed and became a good dragon.

Benten is believed to have created Enoshima before subduing a five-headed dragon that had been terrorizing the area.
Benten is believed to have created Enoshima before subduing a five-headed dragon that had been terrorizing the area.

The guy playing the dragon was dressed in a mask and black cloth while the girl playing Benten seemed to be shrouded in white cloth. The other roles included the narrator, the villagers and stuff too. Wakaba-chan was holding a stick attached to blue cloth and was pretending to be the ocean.

“ZAZAAAN~ ZAZAAAN~” she yelled as she waved her stick, enthusiastically playing her part.

…Umm, Wakaba-chan, you’re great, you’re really shining up there. Trying your very best to wave the stick even when nobody is really watching you. Even though sometimes you got so tired that you had to do it with one arm, you gave your all to the role until the end. Well done.
It couldn’t be that she’s being picked on, right? Or so I wondered for a moment, but there was a kid playing the part of Enoshima island so I guess I was just being paranoid. The part of the ocean is still better than being an island, right?

When my class’ act was done, they came over to thank Satomi-kun and I.

“Thank you so much for all your help.”

“Thank you very much, Reika-sama.”

All I really did was get them that music room, but Satomi-kun practised with them and gave them the advice including the idea about borrowing the maracas and tambourines too. He really is great at taking care of people.

“You performed very well. It appears that your practised paid off,” I said.

They all looked really happy. It looks like they became closer through all this. But it’s not good to only stick to themselves, so hopefully they’ll get close to the others too.

The class that won the prize for best sideshow this year was Wakaba-chan’s class.
The prize were enough tickets for free meals at the cafeteria for all of them. Wakaba-chan’s eyes were shining. The food at our school is quite expensive so I suppose she didn’t have much chance to try it. Good for her. I wish I could give her recommendations.


After that whole affair, I became closer to this External girl called Ikoma-san.
Friend GET?
But I’m a bit troubled because she looks at me with these eyes that seem oddly worshipping. I’ll bet she has some weird image of me in her head.
Ikoma-san who always looks at me with these sparkling eyes filled with respect… I’m too cowardly to disappoint her, so I vowed to myself to keep up the act around her.

Ikoma-san, if you like my hairstyle so much, how about you curl your hair too?

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Reika-sama – 078

Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.

If it’s not on there, please feel free and ask. I only get annoyed at questions when the same one has been asked 10+ times, and by then I’ll have updated the FAQ.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!

There was meant to be a whole message and Worm fanfiction recommendation list here but when I published after changing the link from everything was blank and scumbag wordpress had no fucken drafts, so fuck. I’ll edit it in now I guess…

EDIT: Okay, fuck. So! Like I was saying in my earlier draft, I’m sorry for the long absence. The last time I released a chapter was August 12th, so a bit under 3 months ago.

EDITEDIT: Why does wordpress keep fucking blanking everything!?


EDITEDITEDIT: Hopefully third time is the charm. So! August 12th. I’m sorry for my absence. I was really busy with my masters degree and was busy until roughly the 1st of November. Yes, I am aware that it is now the 7th of November. Some issues with Warframe and Worm fanfiction came up, okay? Namely that I wanted to do those more than translate.

Speaking of Worm fanfiction though, if you haven’t read Worm, go read it now. NOW! If you have read it, here are some fanfiction recommendations I’d like to make! The formatting and reviews are shitter because this is the second time I’m doing this, so please bear with me.

Constellations by Unwelcome Storm. (SB)(SV)
A light-hearted, funny, adorable, and very enjoyable crossover with Ōkami.

Twinnings by Harbin (SB)(SV)
Taylor with Coil powers. Note that the stories on SB and SV diverge at chapter 1.5 and I’d recommend you read both. The SpaceBattles version first. Fun stuff.

Starry Eyes by helnae (SV)
A completely adorable alternate power fanfiction where Taylor cuts off her face and makes friends with a shoggoth and nightgaunt.

Heredity by BeaconHill (SB)(SV)
A fun alternate universe fanfiction where Taylor moves to Arcadia and somehow ends up teaming up with Amy.

Intrepid by Cerulean (SB)(SV)
An alternate universe (and thus power) fanfiction that follows four different protagonists: Madison, Emma, Sophia and Taylor. Four different teams with one of them each. Non-Mary Sue-ish and really quite an engaging story.

As for some longer stories, we have Cenotaph and sequels which read… a lot like the original Worm I suppose, Queen of Blood which is nowhere near as edgy as you’d expect from a name like that, A Cloudy Path which is great but somehow even more emotionally draining to read than the original Worm, Atonement which is cheesy and Mary Sue-ish but still somehow pretty good and really fun, Magical Girl Lyrical Taylor which is… um… well I’d definitely recommend it…, and finally Amelia which is a dark fixfic which was pretty okay.

This year’s excursion was to Kamakura.

A city! It’s finally a city! Goodbye, mountain climbing! Or so I thought until I heard that, yep, we were going to be hiking. To think that even Kamakura had hiking…

But well, I guess I was already kinda prepared for that. The real issue was the lunch.

After spending the whole gruelling morning on hiking, next was returning to the reserved hotel banquet hall to have lunch together as a whole grade. I was told that we were going to have seafood. Seafood is great stuff.

The problem comes after. Apparently it’s Suiran tradition to have the External Students of each class gather together to prepare some kind of skit for the lunch. Like a baptism of sorts for them.

But a skit! And in front of three-hundred odd people! It’s a total punishment game.

When the Externals in my class heard about it, all of them went deathly pale. Not like I don’t understand though.

After asking around a bit, apparently the previous years were pretty much all choirs and concerts, with the occasional dance or magic trick. A few oddballs apparently banded together to recite Japanese waka poetry or haikus, too.

That day, whenever we had spare time, the Externals would group together and plan for the lunch skit. Mn, for things like this you have to decide what to do first after all.

“Can’t we just sing something?”

“But whatever would we sing? And would it be possible to sing loudly enough for a large hall such as this?”

“But that makes it even harder to see a skit.”

Hmm~ Looks like they’re having trouble.

Satomi-kun and I called out to them.

“How goes it? Have you yet agreed upon anything?”

They all shook their heads at me with troubled expressions.

“Apparently most people just sing or perform on instruments,” I added.

“But it’d be difficult to bring instruments…”

“I believe it quite possible to have them loan you at least a piano or a guitar. And the hall is furnished with a screen so with a microphone small magic tricks or juggling should be possible.”


Looks like they had more options now.

“By the way, what’s the most popular thing for us to do?”

“From what I hear, some students with particular confidence in their singing voices decided to sing Nessun Dorma. Apparently they were met with quite an applause, and were called the Three Tenors of Suiran or somesuch. They were so popular in fact that the popularity of doing mini operas sky-rocketed in the following years, or so the story goes.”


“The Three Tenors…? But if there were only three singers, what was everybody else doing?”

“Lighting and sound, it seems.”

“Having it focused around one person might not be a bad idea.”

“However, pushing the pressure onto a single classmate is not ideal, so generally things of more equal participation are expected. The exceptions are only when somebody is particularly talented at something.”


They looked at each other. Unfortunately none of them seemed to be superstars of any sort. They all looked a little crestfallen.

“Dances are popular too but it kinda depends on how tired each class is after the hike,” advised Satomi-kun.

Yeah~ If it were me I’d be half dead after all the walking.

“But there’s been all kinds of dances too. Stuff from proper dances, to waltzing to piano music or something.”

“I’ve never waltzed before.”

“Me neither… Outside of folk dancing at school, I’ve never really…”

Folk dancing, huh. If somebody did like, an Oklahoma Mixer, I’d probably end up laughing.

Ah, maybe a Mayim Mayim would be more exciting?

It turned out to be a unanimous vote against folk dancing. After long deliberation, they decided on the safe option of choir singing.


They immediately went to practice after school but the kids from the other classes were thinking the same thing obviously, so it was quite a scramble for the piano. After all, whether for choir or concert performances, the piano is a key part, right?

The music rooms in the high school section weren’t enough so I went and negotiated with the school. In the end I got permission for them to use the middle school ones as well.

“You’re amazing. You got us permission to use the middle school rooms? Umm, I guess you used your power as a Pivoine, right?” asked a girl hesitantly.

Hmmm. I can’t really say. When I went and talked to the teacher I was just like,

“Say, since you made me take up the class rep position and all, just lending me a room or two is nothing, riight?”

so I’m pretty sure I wasn’t demanding anything. Mn. That sounds right. It was just a request.

“I should think it was because the school cooperates with its students,” I smiled.

Please don’t look at me so suspiciously.

Anyway, I was pushing for them to sing gospel music but they were like “We don’t have enough people for that…” and refused. Hm, do you really need that many people? I mean, the Three Tenors of Suiran managed, so can’t you get loud enough if you try? I was so sure it’d be popular too.

In the end they chose something easy. Well, it’s a song I quite like anyway, so it’s all good I guess.

After entrusting the key to the music rooms to the External students, I headed for the Pivoine. Just to be safe, I’ll check up on the Externals once more before I go home later.

On the way, I bumped into Katsuragi Boy in the hallway.

“Ah! Why the hell are you in the middle school!”

I checked the hallway in all directions. Hmm~ Nobody seems to be here. Alright.


I sentenced the rude little junior to a facial noogie.

I didn’t hold back at all so I’m sure it hurt quite a bit. Since we were the same height though, he pulled me off rather easily.

“What the fuck are you doing, violent woman!?”

“Is that how you address a senior? My, such a dullard, you poor thing. I henceforth name you Birdboy. The bird-brained Birdboy.”

“Fuck you!”

“My, are you not satisfied? Then go learn some manners and I shall promote you back to a full human once more. Well then, gokigen’yoh, Birdboy-kun.”

I walked away with a HO HO HO! when I heard the idiot call out,

“A bitch like you will never be worthy of Enjou-san!”

So of course I headed right back.

“W-What are you doing?”

Since he had his guard high, I kicked him in the shin.


Hurt, didn’t it. Even the legendary warrior monk Benkei would cry from a shin kick.

Truuly such a cretinous bird. Worry not. I have no feelings towards Enjou-sama at all. I will not get in the way of your love for him. Society still has much progress to be made towards completely understanding homosexuality, but there is no harm in fantasising as you please. Do as you deign appropriate.”

“Wha-, I’m not-”

OHOHOHOHOHO, I can’t heaar youuu~

With that, I left my mentally challenged kouhai behind.


The Externals in each class continued to practice each day.

One time in the hallway, I caught sight of Wakaba-chan running around covered in some weird cloth, but, eh, don’t tell me it’s really some dress-up skit!?

“One time in the hallway, I caught sight of Wakaba-chan running around covered in some weird cloth, but, eh, don’t tell me it’s really some dress-up skit!?”

Kasou Taishou: Kasou Taishou is a semi-annual show on NTV in which various amateur groups perform short skits, which are rated by a panel of judges. Especially in recent years, many of the skits have revolved around clever methods of “faking” cinematic special effects on a live stage. The show is hosted by Kinichi Hagimoto and Shingo Katori. Worldwide, the most famous of these skits, and among the most successful at “fake special effects” was a skit which is widely known as “Matrix ping pong”.

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